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import requests
from lxml import etree
headers = {'User-Agent': 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; Win64; x64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/69.0.3497.92 Safari/537.36',
'Cookie': 'gr_user_id = c6f58a39 - ea25 - 4f58 - b448 - 545070192c4e;59a81cc7d8c04307ba183d331c373ef6_gr_session_id = e8e4b66f - 440a - 4ae7 - a76a - fe2dd2b34a26;59a81cc7d8c04307ba183d331c373ef6_gr_last_sent_sid_with_cs1 = e8e4b66f - 440a - 4ae7 - a76a - fe2dd2b34a26;59a81cc7d8c04307ba183d331c373ef6_gr_last_sent_cs1 = N % 2FA;59a81cc7d8c04307ba183d331c373ef6_gr_session_id_e8e4b66f - 440a - 4ae7 - a76a - fe2dd2b34a26 = true;grwng_uid = 9ec14ad9 - 5ac0 - 4bb1 - 81c1 - bc60d2685710;abtest_ABTest4SearchDate = b;xzuuid = 79426b52;_uab_collina = 154660443606130958890473;TY_SESSION_ID = 907f32df - c060 - 49ca - b945 - 98215cc03475;rule_math = pvzq3r06hi'}
res = requests.get('https://www.qiushibaike.com/text/',headers = headers)
html = etree.HTML(res.text)
result = etree.tostring(html)
name1 = html.xpath('//*[@id="qiushi_tag_121525610"]/div[1]/a[2]/h3/text()')
name2 = html.xpath('//*[@id="qiushi_tag_121525610"]/div[1]/a[2]/h3/text()')[0]
print(result)
print('\n')
print(name1)
print('\n')
print(name2)
輸出結果:
D:\Python\venv\Scripts\python.exe D:/Python/venv/test8.py
b'<html lang="zh-CN">\n<head>\n<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"/>\n<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="chrome=1,IE=edge"/>\n<meta name="renderer" content="webkit"/>\n<meta name="applicable-device" content="pc"/>\n<meta name="domainverify" content="pmrgi33nmfuw4ir2ejyws5ltnbuweyljnnss4y3pnurcyithovuwiir2ejqwmyrtguzdgobsmezdgnbyheywcmzthbrdmmtemu4tamrqg5rtmirmej2gs3lfknqxmzjchiytkmrzgq4demjugaydcnd5"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<title>幽默笑话大全爆笑笑话_笑破你的肚子的搞笑段子 - 糗事百科</title>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<meta name="keywords" content="幽默笑话,爆笑笑话,搞笑段子,笑话大全 爆笑"/>\n<meta name="description" content="糗事百科官网提供幽默笑话大全,糗百网分享的各种爆笑笑话、搞笑段子,小心笑破你的肚子,精彩搞笑笑话就在糗事百科!"/>\n<meta http-equiv="mobile-agent" content="format=xhtml;url=//www.qiushibaike.com/text/"/>\n<meta http-equiv="mobile-agent" content="format=html5;url=//www.qiushibaike.com/text/"/>\n\n\n\n\n<meta name="robots" content="noarchive"/>\n<link href="//static.qiushibaike.com/css/dist/web/app.min.css?v=1a44fd15c6e802cc1ab5953bd398eea8" media="screen, projection" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"/>\n<script type="text/javascript">\n// Baidu Automatic push content\nvar _hmt = _hmt || [];\n(function() {\nvar hm = document.createElement("script");\nhm.src = "https://#/hm.js?2670efbdd59c7e3ed3749b458cafaa37";\nvar s = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0];\ns.parentNode.insertBefore(hm, s);\n})();\n// 收集运营上缓存证据\nwindow.config = {\n\'user_time\': \'2019-02-18 15:54:37\',\n\'version\': \'2017-09-04 14:36\'\n}\n</script>\n</head>\n<body>\n\n\n\n<div id="header" class="head">\n<div class="content-block">\n<div class="logo" id="hd_logo">\n<a href="/"><h2>糗事百科</h2></a>\n</div>\n<div id="menu" class="menu-bar menu clearfix" style="margin:0 10px">\n<a href="/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">热门</a>\n<a href="/hot/" target="_blank">24小时</a>\n<a href="/imgrank/" target="_blank">热图</a>\n<a id="highlight" href="/text/" target="_blank">文字</a>\n<a href="/history/" target="_blank">穿越</a>\n<a href="/pic/" target="_blank">糗图</a>\n<a href="/textnew/" target="_blank">新鲜</a>\n\n<!--<a href="http://www.youliaodao.cn" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">百科</a>-->\n</div>\n<div class="userbar clearfix hidden">\n<div class="login hidden">\n<a href="/my" class="username" id="uname" rel="nofollow"/>\n</div>\n<div class="logout">\n<a href="javascript:void(0);" class="fn-signin-required logintop" id="logintop" rel="nofollow" style="font-size:16.5px;">登录</a>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n\n\n\n<div id="content" class="main">\n<div class="content-block clearfix">\n<!-- 暂停更新提示 -->\n<!-- <img src="/static/images/banner.png" alt="" style="width: 100%; margin: 16px 0 0; display: block"> -->\n\n<div id="content-left" class="col1">\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_long" id="qiushi_tag_121525610">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/40403533/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/4040/40403533/thumb/20190127184632.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="我咧果乖乖"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/40403533/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n我咧果乖乖\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">18</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121525610" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n在街上看到一对情侣,男的对女的说:我现在没有房,没有车,没有才华,没有天赋,你还会爱我吗?女的哭着说:傻子,我爱的是你的心,虽然你一无所有,但你有爱我的心。最后这对情侣抱着哭在一起。…………<br/>看到这里,我也对我的女朋友说:你会喜欢我现在一无所有吗?女朋友听了后,沉默了。看着女朋友,我慢慢地露出笑容,结果女朋友对我扇了一大嘴巴子,说:你还有B脸笑。<br/>…………\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">407</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121525610" data-share="/article/121525610" id="c-121525610" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">5</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121525610" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121525610" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121525610,1)" class="voting" data-article="121525610" id="up-121525610" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">408</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121525610" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121525610,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121525610" id="dn-121525610" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-1</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121525610" id="c-121525610" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121517888">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/40485675/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/4048/40485675/thumb/20190215174735.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="云袖飞花醉月明"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/40485675/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n云袖飞花醉月明\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">26</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121517888" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n当年我上学 ,一次考试,我得了八十分,而同桌闺蜜只得了二十分。<br/> 我就嘲笑闺蜜,闺蜜说,这是一种均衡,说明上帝是公平的,我颜值八十分,考二十分正常,刚好凑个一百分,至于你,考八十分也是为了弥补你的颜值。<br/> 我想了一个月才明白,哦,这家伙说我丑……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2175</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121517888" data-share="/article/121517888" id="c-121517888" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">45</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121517888" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121517888" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121517888,1)" class="voting" data-article="121517888" id="up-121517888" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2188</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121517888" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121517888,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121517888" id="dn-121517888" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-13</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121517888" id="c-121517888" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121517888" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">amiao:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n就你这智商,我很怀疑你的八十分是怎么来的\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n32\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121536768">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/35225229/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3522/35225229/thumb/20181128084118.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="晴~风"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/35225229/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n晴~风\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">29</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121536768" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n今天老爸和老妈吵架了,我去房间里安慰老妈,然后,就想开个玩笑,逗老妈说:“天天吵吵,为啥不离婚?”<br/><br/> 结果,老妈来了句,“我跟你爸商量过,在怎么也不能离婚,因为,我和你爸谁都不想要你的抚养权”。……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1849</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121536768" data-share="/article/121536768" id="c-121536768" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">31</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121536768" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121536768" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536768,1)" class="voting" data-article="121536768" id="up-121536768" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1854</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121536768" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536768,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121536768" id="dn-121536768" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-5</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121536768" id="c-121536768" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121536768" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">云袖飞花醉月明:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n确认过眼神,你就是沙雕\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n12\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121536555">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/14849114/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1484/14849114/thumb/20180717101252.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="星劫"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/14849114/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n星劫\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">28</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121536555" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n小李心血来潮,把一段岛国片的啪啪高潮部分输入老婆的手机,可以语音拨号自己的手机。<br/> 结果,他老婆偷情的时候,语音拨号被启动了,呼叫到他手机上,当时他的脸就绿的……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2021</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121536555" data-share="/article/121536555" id="c-121536555" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">33</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121536555" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121536555" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536555,1)" class="voting" data-article="121536555" id="up-121536555" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2031</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121536555" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536555,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121536555" id="dn-121536555" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-10</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121536555" id="c-121536555" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121536555" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">-老司机:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n这种事多半说的就是楼主自己,小李表示不背这个锅\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n60\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113877300">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/30629638/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3062/30629638/thumb/2018053121284449.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="我就笑笑不语"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/30629638/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n我就笑笑不语\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">25</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/113877300" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n还记得×××;糖果壳包了个石子骗小伙伴吃的那个熊孩子么!还记得×××;牙膏放到饼干骗小伙伴吃的那个熊孩子么!还记得把苹果中间弄个小洞里面放虫子的熊孩子么!还记得……好了 你不×××;说了 没错 我就是那个被骗的小孩!!\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">866</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/113877300" data-share="/article/113877300" id="c-113877300" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">9</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_113877300" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-113877300" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113877300,1)" class="voting" data-article="113877300" id="up-113877300" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">911</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-113877300" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113877300,-1)" class="voting" data-article="113877300" id="dn-113877300" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-45</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/113877300" id="c-113877300" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121454040">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/12593187/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1259/12593187/thumb/20181119175602.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="双手发抖"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/12593187/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n双手发抖\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">88</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121454040" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n女儿的同学们最近流行养兔子,她也吵着要养,老婆嫌脏不同意。我给孩子支招,让她偷偷的给姥爷打电话,让姥爷给她买两个兔子,姥爷买来的东西,怎么也不能扔了。<br/>我不知道女儿怎么跟岳父说的,今天岳父来了,带了两只兔子,一只麻辣,一只五香。\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">8590</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121454040" data-share="/article/121454040" id="c-121454040" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">88</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121454040" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121454040" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121454040,1)" class="voting" data-article="121454040" id="up-121454040" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">8621</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121454040" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121454040,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121454040" id="dn-121454040" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-31</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121454040" id="c-121454040" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121454040" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">在下桂忝殷:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n以前在农村住的时候,想吃兔子只需要把家里的大黄 二黄 小黄 全部赶上山就行了\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n86\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121536766">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/12593187/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1259/12593187/thumb/20181119175602.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="双手发抖"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/12593187/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n双手发抖\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">88</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121536766" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n玩游戏,很久没联系的初恋女友忽然邀请我组队,组就组呗,估计她是心情不好啥的,反正我也不说话,陪她玩了半夜,还带她吃了两把鸡。<br/>第二天晚上,她又组我,有些不对劲啊?<br/>我神不守舍的又陪她玩了半夜。<br/>第三天晚上她又组我,打了两把忽然明白了过来,开语音喊,“小屁孩儿,谁让你拿你妈妈的手机玩的!”\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1764</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121536766" data-share="/article/121536766" id="c-121536766" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">22</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121536766" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121536766" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536766,1)" class="voting" data-article="121536766" id="up-121536766" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1769</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121536766" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536766,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121536766" id="dn-121536766" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-5</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121536766" id="c-121536766" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121536766" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">骑着二哈啃黄瓜:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n这辈子没办法进你门,那就进你儿子的家门\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n43\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121449733">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/40143394/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/4014/40143394/thumb/20181224154038.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="程思思s"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/40143394/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n程思思s\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">0</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121449733" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n回老家玩,大伯让我去宰只鸭做下酒菜。<br/>于是我随便逮了一只,放完血提着就回去。<br/>大伯问道:你宰它时,它叫唤没?<br/>我说:不能不叫唤嘛,都割喉了。<br/>大伯:那你知道它在说啥?<br/>我:它说啥了?<br/>大伯:它在说我是鹅,我是鹅!\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">4780</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121449733" data-share="/article/121449733" id="c-121449733" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">66</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121449733" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121449733" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121449733,1)" class="voting" data-article="121449733" id="up-121449733" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">4818</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121449733" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121449733,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121449733" id="dn-121449733" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-38</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121449733" id="c-121449733" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121449733" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">隔壁小聂:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n鹅鹅鹅,曲项×××;刀割,拔毛加瓢水,点火盖上锅。\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n71\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121449191">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/25216936/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/2521/25216936/thumb/20181217092635.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="狸土豆大人"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/25216936/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n狸土豆大人\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">99</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121449191" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n男友送了盒口红,整整六支。虽然是没见过的品牌,不过看着挺精致的,心想可能是微商那买的手工口红。<br/>问男友多少钱,他说一百块。我想着还好,一百一支也不算贵,没败家。直到后来才发现,是一百块五支,买五送一。。。\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2362</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121449191" data-share="/article/121449191" id="c-121449191" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">44</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121449191" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121449191" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121449191,1)" class="voting" data-article="121449191" id="up-121449191" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2380</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121449191" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121449191,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121449191" id="dn-121449191" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-18</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121449191" id="c-121449191" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121449191" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">玫瑰使者:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n100一支,假一赔五\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n47\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113879095">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/9281511/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/928/9281511/thumb/20170115210943.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="二一……"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/9281511/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n二一……\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">26</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/113879095" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n以前都是看糗百笑笑而已,现在却要做糗百的项目,真的笑不出来了。\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">168</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/113879095" data-share="/article/113879095" id="c-113879095" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">6</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_113879095" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-113879095" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879095,1)" class="voting" data-article="113879095" id="up-113879095" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">180</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-113879095" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879095,-1)" class="voting" data-article="113879095" id="dn-113879095" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-12</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/113879095" id="c-113879095" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534702">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/32019126/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3201/32019126/thumb/20160718135727.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="蜜mora"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/32019126/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n蜜mora\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">31</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534702" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n在老家几天老公嫌挤的慌,带着小崽打地铺睡床边,我带大崽睡床。半夜感觉不对劲,有人在我身上拱来拱去。麻蛋,猴急猴急也不看看几度的天,谁要跟你被窝里面翻红浪,冻死一对家鸳鸯。果断一脚撩过去,噗噗闷响,床底下传来了我家11个月娃的哭声。崽啊,妈真不知道你有半夜爬床的习惯[捂脸][捂脸]\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2099</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534702" data-share="/article/121534702" id="c-121534702" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">40</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534702" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534702" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534702,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534702" id="up-121534702" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2105</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534702" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534702,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534702" id="dn-121534702" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-6</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534702" id="c-121534702" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534702" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">糗友708364:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n是你老公有半夜爬床的习惯吧!\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n15\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535706">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/30201529/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3020/30201529/thumb/2018062819414093.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="道士下山会女神"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/30201529/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n道士下山会女神\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">100</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535706" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n老小区没车库,车都停路两边,一向自诩倒车技术一流的老婆非得要倒车出小区,车走走停停终于倒不走了,二货不找自身原因,而是熄火下车转了一圈,然后一把拉开副驾车门,上下打量我一番,惊爪爪的喊道:都怪你屁股坐歪了,我说咋倒不走了呢?\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1973</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535706" data-share="/article/121535706" id="c-121535706" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">28</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535706" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535706" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535706,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535706" id="up-121535706" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1984</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535706" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535706,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535706" id="dn-121535706" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-11</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535706" id="c-121535706" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535706" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">正版煮茶:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n让老婆开车,更费神[大笑]\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n19\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534174">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/33653568/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3365/33653568/thumb/2017041408455094.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="旖旎萌萌"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/33653568/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n旖旎萌萌\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">24</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534174" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n一大早刚到公司,就看到女主管发飙,不停骂人,摔东西,后来听同事讲,女主管经人介绍相亲,媒人对她说男方家挺有实力,是做铁矿生意的,后来处了一段时间才知道,对方家是收废铁的!这⊙∀⊙!,,,\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">5401</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534174" data-share="/article/121534174" id="c-121534174" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">118</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534174" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534174" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534174,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534174" id="up-121534174" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">5422</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534174" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534174,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534174" id="dn-121534174" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-21</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534174" id="c-121534174" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534174" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">火因毒乀:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n收废铁的也可以比你年薪高三倍,你信不信?\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n112\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535981">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/6044140/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/604/6044140/thumb/20160312153401.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="有意大利炮二营长"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/6044140/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n有意大利炮二营长\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">33</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535981" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n《流浪地球》观后感,好莱坞的科幻灾难片都是造一太空船,诺亚方舟直接把人类带走,我国却是连地球一起带走,从这就可以看得出我国民对不动产的钟爱[捂脸][捂脸][捂脸],不动产怎么说扔就扔呢?\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2318</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535981" data-share="/article/121535981" id="c-121535981" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">41</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535981" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535981" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535981,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535981" id="up-121535981" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2326</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535981" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535981,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535981" id="dn-121535981" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-8</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535981" id="c-121535981" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535981" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">林~~寒:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n你有这感悟也是没谁了。。。估计很快就能有销售×××;上你的台词了\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n34\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113878077">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/30628236/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3062/30628236/thumb/20151116151707.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="被丑哭的帅比"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/30628236/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n被丑哭的帅比\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">0</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/113878077" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n刚才碰到小学时候关系挺好得同学 好长时间不见了 割割哒 到了中午饭点说要领我搓一顿 这回他请客 天真的我就跟着去了。。。麻痹!真的是“搓”一顿!这狗人既然领我去大众洗浴搓澡! 不说了 他的雏菊我要了!\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">356</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/113878077" data-share="/article/113878077" id="c-113878077" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">1</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_113878077" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-113878077" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113878077,1)" class="voting" data-article="113878077" id="up-113878077" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">372</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-113878077" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113878077,-1)" class="voting" data-article="113878077" id="dn-113878077" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-16</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/113878077" id="c-113878077" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535007">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/19967299/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1996/19967299/thumb/201611061727422.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="娜时光&娜过去"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/19967299/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n娜时光&娜…\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">28</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535007" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n我一朋友当伴郎被狠揍了一顿,事情是这样的:接新娘子的时候女方守的严实,他作为伴郎特卖力,不停拍门大喊:“开门啊,开门啊”,后来不知怎么脑子一抽,就顺嘴喊成:“开门啊,开门啊,别躲在里面不出声!你有本事去偷人,你有本事开门啊,开门啊开门啊,别躲在里面不出声,我知道你在家……”\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2083</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535007" data-share="/article/121535007" id="c-121535007" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">25</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535007" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535007" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535007,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535007" id="up-121535007" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2091</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535007" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535007,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535007" id="dn-121535007" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-8</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535007" id="c-121535007" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535007" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">一世二人三餐四季:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n揍死没有?\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n27\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535330">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/32019126/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3201/32019126/thumb/20160718135727.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="蜜mora"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/32019126/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n蜜mora\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">31</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535330" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n你们知道没有暖气的室内3度有多冷吗?盖着8斤的大棉被,脚还是冰冰凉的,最后还得缩起来,悄悄放我11个月儿砸的小肚皮那里暖着……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2835</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535330" data-share="/article/121535330" id="c-121535330" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">195</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535330" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535330" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535330,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535330" id="up-121535330" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2877</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535330" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535330,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535330" id="dn-121535330" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-42</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535330" id="c-121535330" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535330" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">浪子De宿命:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n十月怀胎,就为了生个热水袋\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n52\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121455589">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/33028477/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3302/33028477/thumb/20190201071859.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="依丽若水"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/33028477/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n依丽若水\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">28</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121455589" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n为了要个健康的宝宝,要老公戒烟。每天刚进门,就让他冲我哈气。<br/>我提鼻子一闻:“今天你抽烟了,午饭特意吃了蒜,下班前嚼口香糖想掩盖,可蒜味口香糖后面有一股遥远的淡淡的烟味儿”<br/>他瞠目结舌:“卧槽,我特么是娶了个媳妇还是娶了条警.犬”\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">7171</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121455589" data-share="/article/121455589" id="c-121455589" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">87</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121455589" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121455589" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121455589,1)" class="voting" data-article="121455589" id="up-121455589" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">7203</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121455589" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121455589,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121455589" id="dn-121455589" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-32</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121455589" id="c-121455589" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121455589" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">小燕飞1206.:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n抽烟有害健康 戒烟可以延长寿命 戒了再抽 抽了再戒 如此反复可以长生\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n148\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534771">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/12992639/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1299/12992639/thumb/20180519105602.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="胖香"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/12992639/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n胖香\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">101</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534771" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n经常嘚瑟自己体质棒,没想到就啪啪打了脸,这次感冒难受好几天也没好,刚才喝感冒冲剂,闺女很“单蠢”的开始笑话我:“妈妈,你果然是与众不同的,感冒冲剂上面都写着666!”\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">4033</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534771" data-share="/article/121534771" id="c-121534771" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">123</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534771" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534771" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534771,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534771" id="up-121534771" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">4058</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534771" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534771,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534771" id="dn-121534771" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-25</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534771" id="c-121534771" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534771" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">天涯明月刀。:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n不是999估计喝不好\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n54\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113879849">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<span style="height: 35px">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/thumb/anony.png?v=b61e7f5162d14b7c0d5f419cd6649c87" alt="匿名×××;户"/>\n</span>\n<span>\n<h3>匿名×××;户</h3>\n</span>\n<!-- <div class="articleGender manIcon">32</div> -->\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/113879849" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n下班遇到小学生放学,一起挤公交车。好挤。两个7,8岁的小男孩挤得发生摩擦了,于是互相问候起来。“草你大爷”,“草你妈”,“草你姐姐”,“草你姑妈”,“草你全家”,“草你祖宗十八代”…………现在的小孩都怎么了???我是个妹纸,我忽然一阵生气,大吼一声:草完没有,草完回家写作业啦。全车人都惊呆了!\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1733</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/113879849" data-share="/article/113879849" id="c-113879849" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">26</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_113879849" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-113879849" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879849,1)" class="voting" data-article="113879849" id="up-113879849" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1840</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-113879849" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879849,-1)" class="voting" data-article="113879849" id="dn-113879849" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-107</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/113879849" id="c-113879849" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535434">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/25216936/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/2521/25216936/thumb/20181217092635.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="狸土豆大人"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/25216936/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n狸土豆大人\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">99</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535434" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n单位休息室新配置一台按摩椅,躺上面体验了一会,同事问:“土豆,人家都是脱了鞋子躺上面,你怎么连袜子也脱了,太讲究了啊。” 我嘿嘿一笑没做声,心想:老娘的袜子破洞了,不脱了岂不是影响本仙女完美气质!\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2943</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535434" data-share="/article/121535434" id="c-121535434" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">101</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535434" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535434" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535434,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535434" id="up-121535434" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2972</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535434" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535434,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535434" id="dn-121535434" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-29</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535434" id="c-121535434" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535434" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">骑着二哈啃黄瓜:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n效果不错吧\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n210\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534758">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/32215536/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3221/32215536/thumb/20181122212921.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="吃了两碗又盛"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/32215536/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n吃了两碗又盛\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">39</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534758" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n哥们要去外地工作,我给他饯行,我有点不明白他在本地干的好好的为什么偏要去外地。<br/>他说:情人节那天媳妇跟我生气了,说跟我离婚,我就把工作辞了,找了个外地的活。<br/>我:媳妇闹情绪哄哄就好了,这你还当真了?<br/>哥们叹了口气:谁说不是呢,我当时也是太冲动了,,不过还好,我说要去外地工作媳妇就跟我和好了,这就是距离产生美吧!\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1787</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534758" data-share="/article/121534758" id="c-121534758" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">41</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534758" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534758" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534758,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534758" id="up-121534758" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1798</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534758" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534758,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534758" id="dn-121534758" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-11</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534758" id="c-121534758" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534758" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">傻晴°:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n距离产生隔壁老王!\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n94\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121480191">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/37507340/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3750/37507340/thumb/20181215222805.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="奔跑的小土狼"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/37507340/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n奔跑的小土狼\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">26</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121480191" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n手机不小心进水了,暂时×××;老爸淘汰了的老年机……<br/>我三姨带着表弟来了-借钱<br/>三姨:华子,你弟要买房,你能不能……<br/>我:姨,我只能借你一万,今年厂效益不好,工资都是拿保底,一个月才三千多,昨天放的假,工资现在还没到账呢<br/>正在这时,真没想到我爸那破老年机来短信居然自己读:您有最新短消息~刘志勇 (老板)向您尾号5744账户10:15存入一万三千五百元,余额一万三千五百壹拾元,摘要:工资。[光大银行]\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2412</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121480191" data-share="/article/121480191" id="c-121480191" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">66</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121480191" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121480191" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121480191,1)" class="voting" data-article="121480191" id="up-121480191" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2434</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121480191" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121480191,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121480191" id="dn-121480191" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-22</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121480191" id="c-121480191" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121480191" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">骑着二哈啃黄瓜:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n这话不好接,我坐着看别人装逼吧\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n86\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534041">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/29314260/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/2931/29314260/thumb/20190213103118.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="笨小子,说宠我"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/29314260/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n笨小子,说宠我\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">20</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534041" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n带着侄子去见男友,男友对侄子说,我看你像个帅哥。<br/> 侄子却回答:“远远看你也像帅哥,走近这么一看吧……”<br/> 男友问:“像什么?”<br/> 侄子答:“像姑父。”<br/> 哎呦我臭小侄子,姑平时没白疼你……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n<!-- 图片或gif -->\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n<!-- 笑脸、评论数等 -->\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">3650</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534041" data-share="/article/121534041" id="c-121534041" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">35</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534041" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534041" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534041,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534041" id="up-121534041" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">3663</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534041" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534041,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534041" id="dn-121534041" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-13</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534041" id="c-121534041" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534041" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">绦子:</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n投姑所好,小子可造!~\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n62\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block 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onclick="window.open(\'http://static.qiushibaike.com/qiushibaike.apk\')" target="_blank">Android 下载</a>\n<p class="tips">扫码下载糗事百科app</p>\n</div>\n</div>\n<!-- 直播下载链接 -->\n<div class="sidebar-hot clearfix" id="sidebar-remix">\n<a href="https://cache.yisu.com/upload/information/20200310/57/117341.jpg?v=f8bbbe7ca7cd5b9314e8235d6290fb0f" alt=""/>\n</a>\n</div>\n<!-- 浪人杀下载链接 -->\n<!--<div class="sidebar-hot clearfix" id="sidebar-wolf">-->\n<!--<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/web_v3/sidebar/wolf_banner.png?v=b18dc8556489b273af99197ebcf01a1c" alt="">-->\n<!--</div>-->\n<div class="sidebar-hot clearfix">\n<h4>爆笑糗事精选</h4>\n<ul>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121526690" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12152/121526690/small/40R5HG583MK2HM2D.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="为什么这个毛不放在里面暖和呢"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121526690" title="为什么这个毛不放在里面暖和呢" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>为什么这个毛不放在里面暖和呢</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121512784" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12151/121512784/small/G1091LEPK0ZQANO4.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="借个图给你们×××;×××;而已"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121512784" title="借个图给你们×××;×××;而已" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>借个图给你们×××;×××;而已</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121501944" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12150/121501944/small/JPZBDDZCTBYZC5NR.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="什么情况啊!云"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121501944" title="什么情况啊!云" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>什么情况啊!云</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121534396" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12153/121534396/small/P3ZN35SKUPCDVS31.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="替我坐坐这道题吧"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121534396" title="替我坐坐这道题吧" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>替我坐坐这道题吧</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121465153" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12146/121465153/small/IL9K2NEI00T5L7OC.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="我们是不是浪费掉很辆多玛莎拉蒂"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121465153" title="我们是不是浪费掉很辆多玛莎拉蒂" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>我们是不是浪费掉很辆多玛莎拉蒂</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121465608" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12146/121465608/small/56DAXLDFDAUEWM94.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="富贵险中求原来是这样啊"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121465608" title="富贵险中求原来是这样啊" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>富贵险中求原来是这样啊</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121483843" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12148/121483843/small/9VXFZZIRR0QKC2WA.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="天王盖地虎"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121483843" title="天王盖地虎" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>天王盖地虎</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n<li class="item">\n<a href="/article/121525726" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<span><img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/pictures/12152/121525726/small/KXVL581LA3JZ9S1Q.jpg?imageView2/1/w/146/h/146" alt="我算是看透了"/></span>\n</a>\n<a href="/article/121525726" title="我算是看透了" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-sidebar-jingxuan\',\'chick\'])">\n<p>我算是看透了</p>\n</a>\n</li>\n\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="sidebar-hot clearfix" id="sidebar-tab">\n<div class="tab-head">\n<h4 class="active" data-type="0">热门</h4>\n<h4 data-type="1">话题</h4>\n<h4 data-type="2">专区</h4>\n<h4 data-type="3">推荐</h4>\n</div>\n<div class="sidebar-tag-block tab-content0">\n\n\n<li><i># </i><a href="/joke/2451378/">想着你亲爱的ktv</a><i> #</i></li>\n\n<li><i># </i><a href="/joke/2461263/">神话组合太疯了</a><i> #</i></li>\n\n<li><i># </i><a 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['\n我咧果乖乖\n']
我咧果乖乖
Process finished with exit code 0
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